Seahawks wide receiver Locket retired readme: turning life
I feel like an automobile accident. Everything is running fast, all of a sudden, everything turned into slow motion. I ran toward the cover of the ball in the direction of the Cowboys --- like a thousand times as I have done before. I pushed stop me, run to the left. A white shirt flashed.
A car accident.
I fell heavily to the ground, and heard a moment very reluctant to hear. It is said that people in the dying will see a beam of light. I did not see the light, but I heard a voice. You should be very familiar with this sound ------ When you're young, your family partying, you feel bored, bored to gently move along your aunt's red rim of the glass with your fingers in there. Is such a strange, distant sounds of ringing.
Really scary, I can not hear the fans shouting, hear my teammates. At that time I felt "bad."
I was thinking, "Well, hurry up." "It just fine."
But I get up. My whole body felt numb. I can not move my arm, unable to move the head. I can not speak.
The only thing I was active in my eyes. I'm thinking:
I'm paralyzed yet?
I'm going to die?
Any person, I beg you to help me.
At that time, I felt completely helpless. What kind of a feeling? You have experienced sleep paralysis do? Imagine you wake up in the morning dreaming, you can hear the people in the house while doing breakfast while talking and laughing, but you can not move in bed. No matter how you try, you just can not get up. You are trapped in awake and asleep in two stages.
Therefore, if you are trapped in your body and the world around you still turn. It is this feeling that time ---- course I am not in bed. I lay 50 yards at the Cowboys stadium, surrounded by 90,000 fans.
I muttered to myself, "Lord, ah, you please help me. I know I can be here for a reason. If you help me stand up, I'm going to change lives."
This is my life, the second time to say so.
The only thing I said once before, when I was in college. I was talking with a young woman, and he's boyfriend came with a gun pointed at me. This is a revolver, so I could see the barrel of a gun bullet. I do not know that I would not die.
I was staring at the barrel, said, "Lord, ah, you please help me, I promise you I'm going to change the other life."
The man put down the gun, we also mediation.
Cowboys Stadium, I once again ask God to save me.
In that case, think about what things are most important to you, cars, jewelry, a big house, the Super Bowl? These are obviously meaningless. I started from nothing. From losing players to the reserve, to be laid off several times, for three consecutive years to enter the Super Bowl. I have a motto often hanging in the mouth of "a hundred dollars and a dream." When I came to the Seahawks training camp to defeat rookie, I filled a sports stadium with only a backpack of clothes, I took the glove out of Fort Valley State University, as well as $ 100.
I used to want a black Lamborghini and a house with seven bedrooms. That's my dream.
Now, all of a sudden I could not move. At that time, the only thing I wanted in the world was able to see my family again, and with my little child with both hands.
Then I realized something broke my heart to do. My daughter was still in the audience. She was 10 years old birthday. She wanted to come to Dallas to see my game. As a result, she saw her father lying motionless stadium, he was surrounded by teammates and trainers.
God, ah, you have to help me.
When your first child into the world, and you are his eyes for the first time and depending on when you never had before you will feel the warmth. Prior to this feeling did not exist before.
And I was feeling, is completely contrary ----- I never felt so cold night. When you can not move, many uncertain factors will make your mind to run 1 million miles per hour speed of. 10 minutes feel like 10 days. So, from me to the ground to be admitted to the hospital, I feel like quite come a long way.
Until the hospital, I did not know exactly what happened to me. After a few tests, the doctor told me that my spine all connections have been severely damaged ligaments and cartilage. My neck is already considered broken. If you move the trainer and emergency medical personnel to move me in the wrong direction, or a teammate tried to help me up, I may die.
My life entrusted in the hands of the people. That to me is an incredible group of people. They saved my life. Really, they saved my life.
When I woke up in the hospital bed, the big wearing a neck guard on my neck. My daughter out of the hallway, begging to come visit me. My body still wearing navy blue pants and green spikes Seahawks. I do not want her to see her father became like this. I often told her, "Your father was a rock singer, he can do anything." This is because I want her to believe that they can do anything.
I spent an hour to calm down. Then the nurse said let my daughter come in. This process should be more painful than the accident. This is the worst of my life in one hour. I wipe my eyes in tears, and then turn into "fatherly mode."
But when she came in. Oh my God. Are you aware that she is all the world. That's why I want to continue to fight it.
I said, "Do not worry, baby. Not so bad. They would use a bandage to my neck fixed, I'll be fine."
She began to cry.
I said, "Do not worry Dad'll be fine. Do you remember I told you who I am, baby?"
"You are a rock singer."
"I'm a rock star, I can do anything. You can."
She kissed my cheek, then left the room, accompanied by a nurse.
I know, this is the last time I saw my daughter her father was wearing NFL jerseys. This may be a little difficult to accept for her.
After the repair of damaged spinal surgery, and after a few weeks of rehabilitation, I was able to walk normally, and I can play basketball. But a few months later, in early May, at the age of 29 I decided to end my football career.
Carroll coach always taught us: "You live in a short fairy tale"
Your fans are not eternal
Your coach is not eternal
Your teammates, no matter how much they love you, not eternal
You live in a big house, it is not eternal
You can enjoy all of this, but these are not bring you happiness.
I did not understand the meaning of this sentence --- Carol coach until this month I pack my cupboards at home in Atlanta. My teammates preparing for the OTA, I let a lot of time people think things quietly. One day I opened the cupboard, I've seen some unnecessary things.
Good training equipment, extra shoes, Seahawks short-sleeved T-shirt hole.
I thought that since I no longer need these things, and just let them enjoy it to someone else. So I put everything into a white garbage bag, and went out. The apartment I live in the city, and the surrounding I live there are a lot of homeless people sleeping next to my building. But I'm 6 feet 2 inches tall, so most can not wear my clothes. I was carrying a bag with a shoulder and turn until I saw a big child and I almost high-age blacks. He seemed to need help. His jeans with a rope tied around the waist, and he was wearing old brown church shoes. It appears that he has not changed his shoes ten years.
So I said to him, "Man, Excuse me, you need some clothes?"
He "uh" sound, looked around, as if thinking, "Here's what scam you?"
He seemed at a loss. So, I walked up to say "here to give you some clothes, brothers. These are the clean clothes. I just want to give you."
He still did not say a word.
So I went into a step, put his bag on the side. His left cheek and his party tears.
I said, "Brother you all right, how?"
We sat on a concrete bench, he confided to me his story. He told me the pain of his past.
I can see, he is very clever. He said he had a doctorate, has been living a normal life. Suddenly, a few years ago, his wife, son and nephew of his life and died in a car accident with the whole.
He said: "Since then, I lost the will to live I lost the will to cut my hair, I lost the will to brush your teeth without any women again and I love is my family have gone, and I.... also I do not care. "
He does not know who I am. He does not find out about my story. I almost did not speak. I just quietly listen to him, and he was grateful that the world is willing to spend 20 minutes listening to his story.
Similarly, he does not know, to me, this story also played a curative effect. In that dialogue, we have found resonance.
When I lay unconscious on the turf in Dallas, I'm completely dependent on others to rescue me. I just started this and came to the Seahawks rookie training camp mentality is exactly the opposite: I'm a rock star, I'm a leader, I was the first, everything here is yours.
Then, just so between the twinkling of an eye, you become helpless.
If not an emergency medical personnel (EMT) so perfectly saved my life, I live it is impossible to stand here and tell you my story. People I care lasted for several weeks. Our boss put his private plane brought it to me and my family use, so that we can fly home. I received a Washington almost all primary and secondary schools sent thousands of postcards. E-mail, text message, facetime call. It just turned my head. Usually, only people who have died, will be subject to such care.
Even now I live in Atlanta, even if I do not and my teammates together, and my teammates and I still keep in touch.
Sometimes in a very funny way.
I often get Ma Shaoen send me a message. That day he sent me a text message, I laugh stitch up.
He said, "Hey, man. I'm sorry I let you Baiai that hit a bit."
I replied, "you're talking about Shane?"
"I let you pay my file, the results you white blocked"
After a few seconds, he sent a video to me.
I ordered the video, it is the last season for a video game. I was blocking the other side linebacker. I am responsible for protecting the outer arm position Lynch, just the same as my previous job. Ma Shaoen generally crossed (red front outer spheres) from a position close to my back. The results of this, he suddenly turned to the inside (medial rushed the ball up front), the results grappled.
He wrote back, "I'm sorry brother, I screwed up."
My folks are retired, still at home watching football videos.
I think "okay guys, do not worry about it."
Many people do not know the real Ma Shaoen. They do not understand what kind of a person he is, and how much he paid for the people of Auckland. My goal in life is to complete 10% 马绍恩林奇 influence on others.
When I was taken to the hospital in Dallas, Ma Shaoen first night with me all night. This guy makes me laugh so crazy that I have life-threatening. I lay in bed, with a full neck protection, in order to let the body remain motionless. And Ma Shaoen or Ma Shaoen ---- and nurses talking and joking around, play the fool.
When I look back on my life, the Super Bowl will not be the thing I remember the most. On the contrary, I remember the most is something similar like that night in the ward. Even in the most difficult period, I recalled the laughter and love. I mean, I took my neck guard lay there, unable to move, I have just flowing tears. The results of this guy trying to make me laugh, make me forget the pain.
Now, I just want to take my joy and spirit of the harvest, to spread them to other people's needs. I want to help others. I did like the EMT help. Like Ma Shaoen - Lynch helped me so. Like so many people that helped me.
Really, my nfl jerseys career seems to be fleeting. Like endlessly climbing toward a mountain without a peak. My goal now is to help people as much as possible away from the street life and self-reliance. I have to repay God I stand up again grace. This is what I want to conquer the mountain. I went back to the foot. I kept climbing, and along the way continue to meet some incredible people. Everyone I meet, I will try them with me to the top of the hill.
When it was all over, when Carroll coach calls "short fairy tale world - like life" is over, we must ask ourselves, what to live in this world.
I feel I finally know why I came here.
You know why I & # 39; m here (Lynch voice).